21 February 2013
No offence intended
I live in Christchurch. Need I say more?
I loathe the topic, I loath being reminded. I didn't want to write this post, but I feel like my opinion is valid, because it is my own. This is my own space to share and if my views offend, I sincerely apologise. I will never, ever intend to do that.
I was having a good day today. Then I saw a couple posts on Facebook, people saying something along the lines of "...2 years ago today was when..."
This feeling of gloom came over my soul, I looked at the date at the corner of my computer screen. Yes, I guessed correctly... they were talking about 22 February, 2011.
My personal experiences and memories of that day in Christchurch and the following year and a half were awful, sadly like many, many others. Beginning September 2010, then all that followed and after many serious events in my own life, I now (finally) stand a little taller than I did those dark days - trying to move on, trying to forget.
Every day I am reminded about 'that' day. Not a day goes by that I don't consider where the safest exit might be depending on where I am in the house (or out of the house) at the time. I drive down the street and I'm reminded. Cracks in the road or front yards that are long overgrown from abandonment. Cracks in my own home. It's often in the news, the 'everything' reminds me at least once a day if my own memories don't.
To be honest, it's really impossible to forget. It seems the only thing I want to do is forget. I want a day where I don't wonder if it's going to happen again. I want to forget that so many lives were lost tragically. I want to forget that this place I call home was once different from what it is now. I don't want to think about 'how will I get my son and I out of here if it happens...again.'
I just want to move on.
How about a 'day to forget' instead of a 'day to remember'? You know, that would really be something extraordinary. A day where trauma is lifted, a day where we're all just carrying on.
And you know what makes me even more grumpy? The fact that this is my 100th post. Eugh!! The one thing I try not to talk about gets talked about on my 100th post. Go figure!